Hi everyone... Yup im back again... Dunno la juz keep mia-ing... Just damn tired of everything and i really really badly need a break... Well anyways, im starting skool next week @ Sentosa... So if any of u r going to Sentosa on a weekdae, call mi ya... Can meet for lunch... Hahahax... And YES i'll be studying there everyday for one whole year... Those who sigh in envy PLEASE die. Its BORING and not to mention damn hot on afternoons over there lor... DAMN humid and with all the irritating crickets chirping away when ure trying to concentrate on ur lecture... Zzz... Its a new and exciting experience though... And we're the guinea pigs... Hahax. Dunno la. Im not feeling very ok right now... Lots of emotional problems and stuff... Wish there was someone there for me to lend me a shoulder to cry on and comfort me and stuff but nah, no ones there... Its alright, just take it as a you-should-be-stronger lesson ba... Sigh. Dun wanna say much but in short, a friendship is completely over. You should know who you are. Dun wanna say anything about it, just that its too late for wadever u're trying to do and theres nothing in me anymore that says i care about u. Bye. K... So much for that... Damn im still in that rut in my life i guess... Just a really really low point where nothing seems to be going well... Family also liddat, skool also liddat, friends also liddat, love life needless to say la... Just feeling damn damn empty and jealous of other people who have everything going for them... Envious. Oh well... C'est la vie... >.< I dunno la... Just wish that i had the discipline and motivation to get my life on the right track again but... where r u...?

Hahax... Firstly and most importantly i wanna apologise to everyone who came to my blog the past month and saw absolutely NO posts for the past 2 weeks... :p That was due to a MAJOR (when i say major i mean REALLY REALLY major like 12-15 hours a day) non-stop addiction to one stupid game called WarCraft 3... HAHAx. *Pauses to take a breath as well as to let Darryl Alvin and Kelvin roll their eyes and mutter "who plays WarCraft" * Heehee... Well i guess im just damn addicted to it... Can play it day in and night out without even getting SICK of it... That too explains why i havent been calling u guys (if i even called u at the first place normally la)... And im SOWWIE... *bleah* Okie? Forgiven? Knew it... Thanks :D And its not so much of the game that im addicted to ba... Its more like this guy i met a few weeks back in the game... *laffs shyly* Well... erm... Lets just say hes really sweet and makes me wanna go on the game just to pei him play ba... Lolx... Thats pretty much wad i've been doing the past 2 weeks...

Besides that, i just had supplementary papers for 2 modules -Business Statistics and Travel & Tour Operations... FIRSTLY - its no surprise i failed Biz Stats lor... i mean, i didnt study (yeah kinda gave up on it) and secondly, everyone knows, i suck at math BIG TIME... Zzz... and i had an mc for the TTOP exam so i just took it again as the supplementary paper lor... Yupx... Hopefully i pass ba... Pray for mi kae people? Dun wanna take Biz Stats again for another bloody half a year >.< ...

Hmm... Besides all these... Im kinda worried for another friend... Lets just call him A... Well... A broke up with his bf not too long ago (few months back)...? And the thing is, im close to A... I know how he is as a person... He doesnt let go of relationships easily... Well in other words... He clings on to the relationship although its already obviously kaput. Get it...? Okie... Now the thing is, i dont think he has gotten over that guy yet (obviously he still loves him alot)... But the thing that scares me most (yeah im freaking out) is that... I think he has created a imaginary person to help him get over it... Let me explain if ure looking like this ----> O.o? now...

All this while that i've known him (about nearly 2 years liao), he has never never mentioned such a person... And suddenly this fictatious character appears in his life, claiming to be back from overseas... And according to A, this guy is Mr Perfect... Hes rich, handsome, got the bod to boot, etc... And hes totally in love with A, and has been waiting for A for 4 whole years... I would really like to believe A, but knowing him so well... if he had such a guy (or any guy for that matter), he would definitely bring the person out to hang out with us (my that group of friends la) and u noe, like ask us how we think of that person, etc... But the thing is, hes been so very secretive about this guy~! That is SO not him lor...

Kae second thing... Sometimes he calls us to say that he cant meet us coz hes meeting that guy, for dinner or to go to his place, etc... BUT then again, knowing him so well, we could tell that he was lying to us... Its called the 6th SENSE... And its always full of loopholes... I really wanna confront him about it and tell him to be honest with us but at the same time... I dont know how to go about doing it becoz i noe if its a real person, all is good... But if its not a real person and hes using it to get over the past relationship... Then...

Third thing... well... Not to mean anything but just being factual and realistic - If this guy is really that perfect and all... And im sure he knows it himself that hes gorgeous... Would he wait 4 years for a person...? Being so perfect, am kinda sure he has many suitors as well... Would he really wait for years for one person and not go for some others...? There are many fishes in the sea, not just one. I dunno la...

Then again would it be wise to actually expose him and risk hurting him in the process...? Or should i just let him continue like that but risk him being even more hurt when reality hits him in the face...?

Im putting all this here becoz i really dunno how to tell u in the face... Although i can be very straightforward to people if i want to (and u know that), i cant and dont want to do that to u becoz im really honestly very worried about u if i did that... So if u're reading this... (which i hope u do)... Just be honest with me ok...? Like i said before... If u cant be honest with me or A or K u have no one else u can be honest with. Especially me. You should know who has been there for you all this while, being there for you when you were terribly upset over I and no one else was there... And who has been sticking with you all this while - Me. So just be honest with me about it ok...? I just want a definite answer. Im risking the friendship I have with u now to confront u about this... You can either be damn pissed with me about posting this here and asking u this way, or u can just come and talk to me - I'll be here waiting... as always. Okae?

*SIGH* Finally got one major load off my chest... Feel so much betta now... Well isnt that what blogs are for...? *Smiles wryly* Alright im gonna go sleep now... To Kelvin, Alvin and Darryl - KIP IN TOUCH ARH~! Lolx... Nite nitez~ *Signing off*

Haha... Once again sorry to all those who were hoping for new posts... Figured out that i needed some time and space to think about my life so just didnt wanna post anything... Anyways spent the last few days (with an average of 9-10 hours STRAIGHT daily) playing Warcraft 3 Bnet... Lolx... (yeah Darryl i noe wad u wanna sae - GET A LIFE~) ... Bought it from Sim Lim coz it was SOLD OUT everywhere else... Imagine that -_-; ... Just wanted to get something to occupy my time and attention so that i wont think so much... About that stupid crush and all that... And its working fine :D Im really occupied LOL *pauses to let Darryl roll his eyes* Something just happened to me again today... Which is generating LOADS of fodder for thought... Damn. I hate thinking. But cant help doing that. Met someone online again... Someone who totally shattered my heart before... And now... A part of me is longing... BUT i know i cant... Its crazy... How can u go back to someone who did that to you before...? What if he is just toying around with my feelings again...? He just said this to me before he left - "If you have anything kept inside just say it out. Nothing is impossible in this world." I wonder what he meant. Its obvious that he knows something and i know something but at the same time i dont want that something because im really afraid already... Sigh. Dunno la. Play with fire, you get burnt.

Firstly, just wanna apologise for not posting for some time... Been having exams the past week and its been hell. Dont think i have to elaborate on that ba... Just got back from clubbing about 7 this morning and feeling very tired now but got alot on my mind... Besides i just lost my mp3 player - left it on the cab this morning... -_-; Just hope that whoever found it will be honest enough to pass it to the driver. Sigh. Just my luck. Came out late yesterday... Went to meet Black (haha i wont say who - think would rather keep it unknown) in the evening... Watched Miss Congeniality 2 - it was SO funny~! The first one was my favourite movie, and thus of coz i wont miss the sequel for ANYTHING... It was good... Those who havent seen it, please do go and watch it... Hahax.

Met Roy and the others at maxwell after that to settle some problems... Bryan - if you are reading my blog, all i have to say is no hard feelings anymore. Yes i dont deny i was very very fucking pissed. And i was prepared to do alot more than just slap you. But at the same time i know your position and after all, you are new. Just let this be a lesson learnt for you - dont go around acting like you are something when you are actually new to this circle. Roy already gave Abang face and you, a chance by not doing anything to you... And i didnt slap u hard either. Well, let bygones be bygones. Im fine now... All that anger was in that single slap. If u wanna talk to me, just feel free to do so. I'm not someone who bears grudges over a long period of time. :) K back to my blog... Went clubbing with the rest of them after that... Stupid DJ didnt play Absolutely Everybody and Stranger In My House today -_-... It was so damn potong steam lor.

Have alot alot on my mind now... Guess i can only use one word to describe how im feeling now - lost. Why does life joke with us so...? You just treat the people who like you as friends, and those that you kinda like, they just treat you as friends... Am believing more and more in karma... Heh. Now its my turn to be on the side that does the liking... Dont know how he feels though. Its making me feel all weird and stuffed up with mixed emotions... I keep thinking about Black but the thing is, im not supposed to even be caring lor. We are just friends... for now. What is this im feeling? Is it just because i've been single for too long...? Or is it really something there...? Im confused. What is wrong with me... Used to be so cold and cool about such things, letting the other person do the worrying instead... See, its karma. Haha. I dont wanna talk much about it because like Black said, see how things go... And i agree... totally.

Another thing... Why is it so hard to be who you really are inside...? Is this world really so narrow minded...? And so filled with people who are so conscious about maintaining an "image" in front of others? How can they be happy like that...? Food for thought... Really gotta go sleep now... Tired. Not just physically. :: Emotionally :: Mentally :: Spiritually :: Drained ::

Sorry all... Having exams now so didnt post for the last few days... To my loyal fans - im sorry... Hahax~ Am online now and just had some roleplay with Jer... Its so funny... But in a sense its really describing how im feeling right now... (The "Jo" in the conversation is a part of me... "Jer" is Jer (like DUH)... and "Squall" and "Ifrit" are all parts of him... "Raine" is another part of me... so is "Shiva"... "Edea"...) For those who played Final Fantasy VIII before, im sure this aint foreign to you... :) well, here goes...


*Quistis mouths to Jer* : shes (referring to Raine) just tired of her life... its too routine and mundane...

*Jer whispers to Quistis*: she needs L-O-V-E... how thick can you be?
*adds the word 'instructor'*

*Raine runs to Shiva and hides with her in her ice cold sphere*

*Quistis whispers back to Jer* : she does...? but... im not lesbian... i only have Squall in my heart...

Squall: I heard that... I'm with Jer now. and Seif. so...

Jer: *gasp* Quisty! jooo cannot steal Squallly from ME!

*Quistis runs away, eyes brimming with tears*

Jer: he's MINE! (Selfish lil` Jer)

*Meanwhile... Raine snuggles in comfortably with Shiva in her frozen tomb, her heart slowly freezing... till... its... frozen.*

Jer: been there. done that.

Ifrit (Jer again) : fwahahahaha! Shiva... so we meet again.

Raine : its... so... comfortable...

*Shiva blinks at Ifrit, her cold blue eyes looking straight at the beast... speaking in a soft murmur* : Yes... Havent seen you in a while ever since i helped Squall and Quistis defeat you at the Fire Cavern...

Ifrit bellows: fwahahaha! that was a cheap trick because Squall and Quistis didn't have the ability to beat me without YOUR help. besides, it was a 'test'... I had to go easy on them!

*Shiva gives an empty laugh that echoes with chill*: Ha. Ha. seems to me like your ego hasnt been damaged at all... A cheap trick...? it seemed like you were pretty furious when i appeared to aid them...

Squall, Seifer and Jer: tch. they're ignoring us... imprudent Guardian Forces. let's go... *walks away*

*Raine stirs a little in the glacier, turned around and went back into her slumber*

*Quistis looks fondly at Squall... and looks like shes thinking about something*

*Squall runnnnns away as fast as he can*

*Sephiroth swoops down from the sky. black feathers everywhere. he catches Squall in his grasp and flies off*

Jer: NoooOOooo... Squally poo!!

*Meanwhile, Edea magically removes Raine's heart from her body, and encompasses it in a small frozen orb whispering : "There it will remain till a flame strong enough to melt the orb comes along..."*

*Edea draws up magical energy, forming it into a glacial spike, which she then hurls at Sephiroth, stabbing it straight through him*

Jer: Yay~~! *runs to catch Squall in his arms lovingly*

(Just then, Jo comes running up in a hurry) Jo: *looks around frantically* wheres Raine???

Jer: sleeping?

Jo: She is...? Where?

*Jer, pointing at the glacier which holds the body of Raine* : there... frozen in time. the perfect statue of pristine coolness...

*Jo starts wondering how long would she remain frozen like that*

Jer: hmmm... until her knight in shining armour comes along to place a kiss to break the spell of ice.

*Jo turns to Edea*: and when would that be...? you of all people should be able to tell right...?

Edea: I do not foresee the future, little one... the future is for you to grasp...

*Jo, running to the glacier that Raine is kept in and touching it, whispers* : Im sorry Raine... I tried my best... But its too hard for me to bear myself... Its such a burden... I cant do it alone... Come out soon... k...? I'll be waiting... for you... so... If you come here... You'll find me. I promise.

Spent the whole of today at home... Played Gunbound with my lil' sis... Man that girl is GOOD... Lost to her duno how many times le... Lolx. So malu sia... :p Went to meet Darryl after that to buy Alvin's present in town... Couldnt find anything NICE... We went to Perlini's but they didnt have something expensive enuff... (even if it costed enuff, the design was one word - UGLY) Headed to Tiffany & Co after that... They had some nice pieces, but some were too ex and others were... well... too SMALL... Hahax~! We were like, "this CANNOT fit Alvin's wrist..." -Hugz Alv if ure reading this- :p Went to Gucci and LV after that, but nothing suitable either... Sad leh.

After that went to watch a movie @ PS with a friend - that Son of the Mask show... For those that are thinking of watching it - its only ok nia. Not impressed. Quite nonsensical... Decided to go to the arcade after that to see who was there... bumped into Qf and Willie~! So happy lol... then of coz we spent quite alot of time (and money) playing there la... Heh. After that Qf said wanted to go Selegie eat beancurd so we went there... only to find that it was close liao. That was about 1am ba. So he suggested we go near my place there the roti prata house - it was GOOD~! We ordered ALOT... and the beancurd shop next to the prata house was still open so we had that too :p

In total the 3 lil pigs ordered 3 beancurds, two cheese pratas, one bomb prata (it was some weird combination of butter, honey and cheese), one paper prata with honey (this one reminded me of the skin of the apple strudel - it was thin, crispy and sweet), and one PLAIN prata (Willie ordered that lolx! Like WHO EATS PLAIN PRATAS~?) After we finished everything, the 3 lil pigs went home feeling full, bloated, satisfied... and... last but not least... FAT~! (LOL @ Willieee)

This is another Thank-U post to Jer... Hahax. Credit goes to him for the music loaded in my blog :p Thanks jer... -Hugz-

Woke up early today and went to tan... Bought some stupid tanning oil which had SPF 8 and it appeared to be too protective up to the point where i couldnt even "brown" at all... Waste money leh~! Should have listened to Alvin and got the one with no SPF at all... Use awhile sure become toast le~ Hahax... Baked in the evening sun for like, 2 hours but like no effect le... >.< Went to meet Willie, Alvin, Kelvin and Sean in town after that... Played arcade and wanted to go eat PastaMania after that (had craving for their stupid crayfish pasta) but it was CLOSED just when we got there... I was like, WTF... Disappointing leh. But not as disappointing as some other thing that happened. Haiz... Nevermind la. Friday's mood just got spoilt... But cant blame anyone also la. No promises were made anyways. K la. Enuff of my PMS-ing. Gonna go make a drink now den watch some vcds...

Pictures from Christina's Mtv... Enjoy~